So last night, after all the campaigning and spending, Ron, Nikki and Vivek were on the receiving end of yet another Trump thumping. The three, finishing second, third and fourth, just like women at a women's swim meet. Hahaha because the dude always wins. They join a long list of Trump thumpees. Remember the big stage back in 2015? What a photo. That's like Justin Timberlake with the rest of NSync. In the end, Trump bumped each of them off like it was the last act of Goodfellas. Those weren't debates. They were crime scenes. There should be yellow crime tape around each of their podiums. Good thing Christie was already gone before Iowa. You know how much chalk it takes to outline that body? You shouldn't laugh at that. He's struggling. So last night, it wasn't really a caucus. It was a carcass. I guess Pramila predicted it, right?
REP PRAMILA JAYAPAL: Let's talk about the fact that President Trump incited an erection.
And last night, he did. So what does last night's result mean for November? Well, while everyone has an opinion, we can't be sure. Because let's face it, there are only four people in America who really know what a caucus is, and three of them are Karl Rove. And Kamala thinks a caucus is a plant with pointy stuff on it. But still, it looks like the Trump train has just blasted out of the station. Not even Pete Buttigieg can derail it. But since we all knew that this would happen despite the other candidates spending a combined $250 million bucks campaigning, was it all really necessary? Think about that – $250 mil for an election the Republicans knew would turn out this way, with Trump way out on top. That's a lot of money to waste when you could invest it in a couple of Hunter Biden paintings. The point is, for the sake of chasing an illusion, couldn't that money have been directed elsewhere, like maybe at the guy the Republicans are trying to beat in November? No, not Michelle Obama. Who put that in there? Here's what pisses me off, OK?
We're told this caucus is necessary even though we knew Trump was going to win big and all the hundreds of millions spent would be wasted. And what happens? They called it in 30 minutes. The reasoning is it's a blowout. So why wait? Wow. That's exactly the same reason for ignoring the caucus. Except now they just wasted millions to prove that point. That's a ton of money that could be used to fight Biden, but spent on a foregone conclusion. Look, Trump is less than perfect. Who isn't? He's got baggage. But remember, most of that baggage is put there by the Dems. And he does make it easy for them. But they do the same to every Republican nominee, no matter who it is. And with every poll showing a margin between Trump and his rivals that's wider than the gaps in Jesse Watters' resume, you gotta ask, was this money well spent? It's true. When every metric shows the country is going in the wrong direction and the Dems gearing up to spend the GNP of Brazil to keep Mr. Magoo's finger on the button and by the button, I mean his Life Alert. I'm thinking whatever the challenger spent that cash on was in the wrong places. Hell, Bud Light's marketing team spent money more wisely. Meanwhile, the Trump train ran over more than the other candidates. It also barreled straight over the collective psyche of the lefty media, who right now appear about as stable as Jerrold Nadler juggling three rotisserie chickens on a unicycle.
IOWA CAUCUSES TURNOUT LOWEST IN YEARS AMID FRIGID TEMPERATURES
MSNBC REPORTER: Trump is, in some ways become religion for a certain section of the American electorate, and especially for evangelicals.
MSNBC'S JOY REID: This is a state that is overrepresented by white Christians.
MSNBC'S MORNING JOE: We can all sit here and put on sackcloth and ashes and moan about Donald Trump getting 51% of the vote. Gotta say, for people who actually want to win general elections, that's not good news.
MSNBC'S RACHEL MADDOW: There is an authoritarian movement inside Republican politics that isn't being bamboozled by Trump. They are pushing Trump to get more and more extreme.
It's good to see Tony Dow is still working. And he passed away, I believe. Anyway. Still kind of funny though. But, Rachel, I am so sorry this happened to you. But can I suggest something? Maybe pace yourself. It's going to be a long election and we all knew what the outcome would be. But you're already melting down like a Hershey bar in Anna Navarro's armpit. Yeah, but of all the media takes here's my favorite from Dick Morris. Remember that fella? Watch closely.
VIDEO OF SOMEONE WALKING IN DURING DICK MORRIS' INTERVIEW: Well, I think Trump is going to score a huge victory. I think the media is going to try to downplay it because it's incorrectly said they're basically supporting, uh, Nikki Haley.
THREE TOP TAKEAWAYS FROM IOWA AND THE IMPACT OF NEW HAMPSHIRE
That's the greatest. I mean, who knew Dick Morris lives at the YMCA? Hard times. Hard times my friends. I can't even continue. Of course, DeSantis and Nikki Haley are still in the race and they're receiving donations. The hope is that the clear frontrunner will somehow crash and burn. The hope that lightning strikes. Or if Chris Christie cuts his brake lines. Yeah, like he could fit under a car. And for Biden, it would be when they finally admit the obvious and take him off solid food. Some Dems who live in the real world have labeled Biden DNR, do not re-elect. And while Ron and Nikki hover about Vivek is looking like the smart one. He knew how this would go, so he took his shot, raised his profile and when the right time came, suspended his campaign. If Trump wins, you could bet he's looking at a big spot. Maybe secretary of foreheads. But it's not bad for a guy Joe Biden thinks should be running a 7-Eleven.
So now we're left with the clear winner and two others praying that the main guy gets taken out. Which is sort of like things around here on this show. Look, I get it. This is our process. And whoever set it up, it's what we've got and no system is perfect. But there's no denying that Iowa was like betting on the University of Michigan versus the Saint Jude All Stars, betting millions on it. All for a mirage that Never Trumpers and the media and left hoped would be real. And it's on to New Hampshire. The live free or vote Biden state. Where we'll be told Nikki is within striking distance and Ron DeSantis is the comeback kid. And more millions spent by the hope for disaster candidates and their supporters. But as the saying goes, hope is not a method. And the truth is, we're almost certainly headed for a 2020 rematch. And the sooner we accept it, the better. And personally, I like Trump's chances against this guy.
VIDEO OF BIDEN STRUGGLING TO PUT ON A JACKET
It's kind of sad. The Dems are hoping Trump won't make it to November while praying Joe makes it past Wednesday.
